Finding and choosing hope

For the 1st time in my life I am going to open just a bit to the world. Why am I doing this? Well maybe it will bring me some comfort? Maybe it will be good to just vent? Maybe it will bring someone hope? I'm not really sure what this will end up doing? Maybe nothing? Most of you know I have always been a very private person. Few know about my life and even fewer actually know what goes on deep down. Why you ask am I like this? Well it breaks down to trust and who wants to be judged or misunderstood?  If you are someone who knows about my life and you are not my mother consider yourself someone special and important.

In the past few months I have made a lot of life changes. These life changes have been for the better and I have been figuring out who I truly am and where I wanna be in life. I have lived a very adventurous life and have become very traveled through out my 20's. I was always on the move and had a fear of settling down and becoming tied down and bored in life. If anyone knows me well enough well you know I am the least boring person to ever live! Out of no where I met someone who is teaching me I can still be adventurous and be settled. It has been a long experience and a change for the better. 

Even know life is great I still find struggle. No one has a perfect life that just doesn't exist. We all have our own crosses to bear in this life. I am constantly faced with set backs. There are moments when I just want to, “arrive.” But the truth is, I will probably never, “arrive,” because a life that moves forward constantly adds new destinations along the way. So here I am, choosing hope, and setting out on a long arduous journey, not sure where I will end up. I trust God, with my whole heart I trust Him, but I’m still unsure of where I’m headed at the moment. I am absolutely sure of one thing though, hope is the difference between life and death on life’s long journey.

I have two very important aspects in my life.... My family and my relationship with GOD. My family consists of my husband,my step son,our cat and two dogs. They and GOD bring me hope and every new day. One of the saddest realizations lately in my life is I have a few "issues" that may never get fixed and may always play peak a boo in and out of my life. It is the very nature of our brokenness. Once sin entered the world, it was never the same. And just like we cannot change that Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, we cannot change the hurt that stems from that. We can however, be made new in Christ and live in hope. “This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” (Hebrews 6:19) I am trying to live everyday in hope. And in that, I am searching and working along the way.

I will succeed 

I will conquer

I will over come

I choose my life

I choose my family

I choose hope